Had Mr H decided to leave me? Back then I wouldn’t have blamed him. I wasn’t the wife he married. Life was so hard for him and for all of us. I didn’t realise at the time quite how hard it was until recently. 

Through it all I kept smiling I knew it was temporary I knew a solution would be reached and things would work out. My Mommy would often say my courage to continue was admirable but to me staying positive was the only control I had. It was at this time I considered a career in medicine. My gosh my knowledge was immense. I researched rare illnesses and listened very carefully whilst in hospital. The doctors would often ask me “are you a medic?” My reply would be “nope I’m just  trying to find out what’s wrong with me” 

On one of my numerous visits to hospital, I met a gorgeous lady. She was wheeled in at night to the bed opposite me. In the morning I said hi and thought it was strange she didn’t move. She shouted hi back. It turned out she couldn’t move she had MS and could only move her head from side to side. She had no family and was beyond fed up. I bought her a TV card and angled the tv so she could see it and put her favourite film on. I fed her (despite being told off by the nurses) brushed her hair as she asked me to help her look nice. When she asked what was wrong with me I felt silly but she told me to persist and find a cure. When I got discharged I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she said “Never give up finding what’s wrong Katie, the angels are with you I can feel them” 

I hated leaving her in hospital all alone unable to move. She told me she was looking forward to crossing over. I like to think she’s been to visit me a few times. 

The hospital decided my kidneys weren’t working properly and that I needed to see a gynecologist. They had apparently found a large mass on my right ovary. Most people would be terrified, however I felt like my shoulders had dropped! Thank the Lord they have found something..I thought I had started to imagine these symptoms.

I was booked in for an emergency appointment and an operation….