I could hear someone calling my name, followed by “Do you know where you are?” yay I’m alive I thought!

I felt calm and peaceful, until I was wheeled into a room filled with everyone I knew. 


My parents, Mr H, best friend, the list was endless I saw it was dark outside and Mr H told me it had taken them longer than they thought to carry out.  I wanted them all to leave me alone so I could sleep.

I felt so peaceful and content lying there recovering in the hospital. By the morning I had had a bed bath, got changed, I had more gossip magazines than WH Smiths and I had access to non stop movies. I know this will sound strange but I had a catheter, morphine, snacks and I felt like I was in a spa. It was at that moment I knew my life was going to change for the better. I felt so sure I had been given a chance  and I was going to start making changes right away.

I was visited by everyone, including my surgeon, we felt that comfortable with each other she would come and eat her lunch with me. I told her I was going to change my life and she smiled and said “well you’ve suffered long enough, go for it” Only problem was I hadn’t a clue how. I told Mr H I was quitting my job and going to make something of myself. I told him it was my calling, he questioned what drugs I was on but I had never been more sure in my life. I was invincible now.

It hadn’t occurred to me to include spirit, I knew I had missed the breadcrumbs but I was sure I could find my way. I was determined but first things first I had to recover.

The recovery took a lot longer than I thought, I have never felt pain like it, the fatigue was unbearable and I was so emotional…

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