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I wasn’t asking or looking for much in life, I just wanted some hope! Hope that there would be an end to all the hospital visits, the pain and a solution other than a full blown hysterectomy.

The bowel doctors had agreed to do another scan, this time I had to drink a clear highlighter over an hour. It tasted like chalk and I sat in the waiting room with Mr H sipping away whilst reading a magazine. After a while I popped to the toilet and little did I know it was all about to go horribly wrong.

I was dressed up for the occasion, my hair piled beautifully on my head, full makeup and lashes. I have no idea why, I think I just got fed up of always looking poorly.

Then the explosive diarrhea began, I couldn’t leave the toilet it was relentlessly, I thought my bowel had exploded! I pulled the emergency cord as the cramps were unbearable and I was trapped on the toilet. The nurse came in and paged the consultant who turned out to be rather young and considering his line of work very embarrassed! There we all were crammed in a cubicle, which must have stank, my tummy tripled in size and the consultant was baffled! I remember hearing him say “I’m sorry I didn’t realise this is what happens to you, you have been saying for so long!” I don’t know how but I got transferred to a room and they started to inject me with something for the cramps.

The injection was fab all the pain had gone and I could talk to him whilst sat on a commode!! I thanked him and was so relieved but my heart started beating so fast, I told him and he hooked me up to a machine, my chest was so painful, I couldn’t see and he gently explained I was having an allergic reaction to the injection. I knew I would be ok so I managed to stay calm. By the time I came round there was a room full of people all looking concerned with a crash cart!!

The scan turned out to be unreadable as I had pooped out all the dye! It was truly traumatic and I had to laugh when I got wheeled out to the waiting room 2hrs later to an oblivious Mr H! He thought they’d just called me in and had been to get a coffee!!

It was time, I had to agree to the hysterectomy, I couldn’t carry on or cope with anymore! I was a woman on the edge! I called my gynecologist and booked an appointment.

I wish I could have visited myself back then like the film back to the future I would have said “Stop worrying there’s a bigger brighter future ready for you, but it can’t materialise if you stay in this situation”

Hindsight is a wonderful thing….