“Feel the energy, wave the scarf around in love” that what I was told to do at my first session at a psychic development group. I’m not going to lie, I felt a right twat.
A lady from work had taken me to this group and although she had no psychic ability she was convinced this was going to help me. I appreciated her support but jumping around with a scarf was not what I had in mind. I felt deflated, how was I going to develop?
At this moment in my life, I felt like my gift was a heavy chain around my neck, I knew I was supposed to do something with it but what? I didn’t feel as if I had any clear guidance from my angels at all.
I did however feel very connected to my baby Jess, I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for this little person. I remember the first time I held her in intensive care, she was crying and I had let everyone and anyone sort her out for me as I couldn’t even lift my arms. Then one evening my mom insisted I hold her, we used loads of pillows and it took so long she was screaming for her bottle. She placed her in my arms and she stopped crying immediately, all I could see were these wide eyes looking at me and I could feel her thoughts “ Where the heck have you been?” I chuckled and told mom.
I knew exactly what she needed, when she felt worried, I was so in tune with her that she was the most placid baby. I had no idea that by focusing on these feelings I was strengthening my gift without the help of a spiritual group.
The first time the spirits visited her, she was lying on her changing mat kicking around, I then felt a hand rub my shoulder the warmth and love standing behind me was so powerful I was frozen to the spot. My little Jess looked above my head and started gurgling and reacting to someone above my head. I then felt the spirit move round to my right and as it did baby Jess turned her head. I thanked them for visiting us and then felt, a gush of wind. It was a beautiful experience and one I will always treasure.
I absolutely loved being a Mom, it was the one thing I was certain in life I would be good at. However I had this niggling feeling, I knew I was meant for great things, sounds really big headed but I had no idea what this “great” thing was. At the time I was working in an office for a large banking firm. I was bored, restless and didn’t feel as if I belonged.
I felt like I was drifting in life and not on the right path, but I know now our journey’s are similar to a jigsaw puzzle, you must take time to find the next piece and that’s exactly what was happening…..